UGANDA?

Well, its been awhile! I've been meaning to blog for sometime now, but I never seem to have the chance to. And by that I mean I never seem to really put this first. I wish I was better at keeping up with this, so I'm going to try.
Maybe I haven't really blogged because I don't really feel like anything interesting has happened to me.

Oh wait... I'M GOING TO UGANDA!

Random, right?! Anyways, there's a backpacking journalism trip to Uganda that I really wanted to go for, and I applied this Wednesday... yesterday I got an email telling me I got the trip. The registration for the trip has already closed... CRAZY! But it is going to be the best experience of my life... I can't wait for it. Seriously. I have another semester to go before I get to go, and I am already so excited I can hardly stand it. AFRICA. I've barely been out of the country, and the next place I'm going to go is AFRICA. I'm not sure how well I'm going to handle these plane rides, but if that's my only problem, I'm okay with it. I just don't know really what to expect Uganda to be like... I mean when I think Africa I think Lion King. I think lions and elephants roaming around in the wild.( I think this is mostly because of Emmanuel and his picture holding a lion... but still) But how cool would that be?! I don't know how accurate my assumption is, but talk about an experience.

DAY 20: THE PERSON THAT BROKE YOUR HEART THE HARDEST

Hoookay. Well, its been over 3o days since I even posted last, so guess I lose the challenge. Nevertheless, as I was looking at this, I decided to finish, because, well, 19 isn't even an even number.

It's funny how in the last month and a half or so, my life has changed. I came to Omaha kind of wary about how the school year was going to go, because, let's face it, I hadn't really truly found where I belonged yet. (and by that I mean I had two great groups of friends at different times, and both times messed it up.) I felt like Omaha was missing something. This year, though, I've managed to start to figure out who I really am, and who I want to be. I love my job, my friends, and school is going pretty great as well. I'm really beginning to understand the true value of friendship, and where I can find it.

I already wrote a letter to my "ex," but to tell you the truth, I don't think this letter would even work for him. Thinking about it, I haven't really experienced heartbreak. Maybe I'm lucky, or maybe I haven't had anyone hurt me that I cared about. I have pretty great friends if that's the case. I'm a big fan of fate. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I feel like when opportunity knocks, you're a fool if you don't open the door.

Recently, my life's been great. I have to admit, I haven't really had a hard life. But lately, I feel like I've just been coasting. Nothing great, nothing terrible. And for now, I like it like this.

Here's hoping the next letter isn't as lame :)

DAY 19: SOMEONE THAT PESTERS YOUR MIND

Well, its been awhile! Its been a super hectic week, thanks to shipping up to Omaha. Now I'm just procrastinating unpacking. This letter is going to be quite lame though. Mostly because I can't really think of anyone that really pesters my mind. I think this is because I don't really like the word "pesters." It reminds me of two things; a rooster and a festering wound. So basically, someone that pesters my mind would be someone who has a injured chicken. Luckily, I can't think of anyone who reminds me of this.

So we'll see what tomorrow entails. Now its just back to repeats of Boy Meets World.

DAY 18: THE PERSON THAT YOU WISH YOU COULD BE

These letters, while boring, do make you think. This one in particular made me think about who I am, and how I try to be the person that I can be. I know I make mistakes sometimes, but I try my best, and I think that's all anyone can ask for. I think I could try a harder to be someone who pleases everyone, but in doing that, I don't think that I would please myself. This one's kinda weird to put in letter form, but here goes...

To me,

There are many things that stick out when I think about my past, and not all of them are good things. There were many moments in which I chose the wrong path, or the way that would make me "cool." I wouldn't change a thing. I'm not saying that I'm perfect, in fact, I'm saying that I know that I'm not. I'm just saying that you can't learn to live without experiencing it. In the game of life, practice makes perfect, and boy, do I need a lot of practice!

It's sad that I have to think really hard to come up with good things or times that I have, and that shouldn't be. It's not that I don't have good qualities, and it's not that I am a pessimist, it's just that when you do something great, it's expected, whereas if you make a mistake, everyone remembers. Including yourself. How much does THAT suck?! So to me I propose a plan. I don't want to change how I am, because that wouldn't be me. Instead, I want to be a person that can be self-confident, a person that can remember when she did great things, but I also want to be a person with a little humility so that I can take it all in stride.

Self, keep doing your thing, but try to remember the good times as well. Be someone that others can love and respect, but be true to yourself.

Love, Mb

DAY 17: SOMEONE FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD

Marabeth Bryant

Its funny to think that you were a significant part of my childhood, because when I look back on it, you didn't really live in Duncanville that long. But in my young age, it seemed like I had known you my whole life. I remember bringing some dessert to your house with my mom to welcome your family to the neighborhood, and your step-mom telling me that she had a daughter my age, with a name very similar to mine! At first I was kind of like "yeah, right there's someone ELSE with a name kind of like mine." Needless to say, at that age, I still thought that my name was odd, and my parents had named me Marybeth because they didn't like me. Hey, I grew up with a sister named Katie, which was one of the most popular names I had ever heard, so by comparison, well, you get it...

Anyways, to get back to what I was saying, I'm so glad that you lived by me, even for the short time it was. I was always looking forward to the weekends that you would be in town, and you were the first person that I considered to be my best friend. I had never had someone my age live near me before, and it was always a fun treat to get to see you. We used to "meet in the middle," basically a house-and-a-half apart, and decide who's house we were going to play our Barbie CD-ROM games at.

I still think of you as the ten-year-old I knew so many years ago, and can't believe that you're now officially engaged! I'm so excited for you, and I know that you are going to have a great life. You definitely deserve it!

Maybe someday we can get together again and talk, but for now just know that I miss you! Thanks for being a significant part of my childhood!

Love, Mb

DAY 16: SOMEONE THAT ISN'T IN YOUR STATE

WOO HOO! Day 16 means I'm over halfway done!

This letter was probably the most vague of all of them, mostly because I go to school out-of-state. This is the second of the two girls who I really wanted to include in this blog somehow.

Molly Miller

Molly, when I started this, I had you in mind as the person that I've drifted away from, or someone you wish you talked to more. Of course, during the month or so that I've had this going, we've talked a lot, basically every day you were in Europe! Needless to say, I needed to figure out something else to write to you, and I figured that this was so random, it would work!

I'm so glad we reconnected at the end of the year last year!

You're so great, and so fun to hang out with. I know soph year we weren't as close as freshman year, but hey, you lived a liittle farther than just through the stairway. Plus, I know we're going to be way better at hanging out this year.

Seriously, as soon as I found out you had as deep of an obsession with Hannah Montana as I did, I knew we would be great friends. You've always had my back and even drove all the way down to Texas to spend spring break with me. I promise to repay you for all of that this year.

You have no idea how excited I am for this upcoming year with you! We're going to go rollerblading, and to Iowa games, which I'm really pumped for. I can't wait to come back to you on Fridayy!!

We've had some great times together, like when we stayed up until 2 in the morning (on a school night!) leaving hannah montana dances on people's walls. You've been such a good friend to me these past 2 years or so, and I'm so glad we lived on the same floor freshman year! I'm sorry that it was like 50 degrees when you came down to visit, but that just means you'll have to do it again someday! And next time you do, I promise that its my turn to do all of the driving. And hopefully no one gets a ticket!

I hope you're as PUMPED as I am for this year. You've been so great lately with helping me out with stuff, and hopefully I've been helpful to you as well. I'm pretty much not going to let you out of my sight when I get back on Friday! I'm also pretty excited that now that we have the same major, we're always going to have class together. I'm even considering taking one of Jeff's classes this semester so we can have another class together. I just have to figure out if not having classes on Fridays is more important or not.

I just have onee thing to say to you.. HELLOOO ELEVATOR FRIENDS! Hahaha! I love you!!

Love, Mb

DAY 15: THE PERSON YOU MISS THE MOST

There were a few people that I wanted to blog to, but I wasn't sure what one they would fall under. Two people in particular have been huge influences on my life, but not in a way I can categorize. Luckily, I figured out two posts that I could give to these girls, and they happened to be today's and tomorrow's. Kinda random, vague headings, but it's a letter to them, not about the title.

I switched this one up. It's supposed to be "THE PERSON YOU MISS THE MOST" (Duh, didn't you read the title?) but I'm making it "THE PERSON YOU MISS THE MOST WHEN IN NEBRASKA" Huuuuuge change, I know. Basically, this person isn't out of my life, they're just not in NE with me. Alright, now that I've given you enough background information so you won't want to read the letter, time to begin!

JAMIE DELAAT

Jamie, when I look back on it, I don't really know how we became friends. I can pinpoint when it happened, sure, but I don't really remember what happened after that. It's weird to think that our friendship started through an un-anonymous honesty box message. Sure, playing volleyball together made us friends, but we became close from what I told you in that message. So funny to think that that spark was what made us become such great friends! (and I think you know what I mean by spark!)

You came around right when I needed a friend. I had just broken up with Aaron, and wasn't really sure who my friends were, since I had done a pretty good job of alienating them all of junior year. I think it had a lot to do with you and Drew being friends, and me working in the neighborhood. I needed someone to hang out with, and somewhere to go, and you and your family took me in immediately, no questions asked.

All of our drives were filled with adventure, with me almost killing you just about every time we went anywhere. You were the only one I allowed to criticize my driving all the time, one, because you were gonna do it anyways, but also because you actually were with me when I got in an accident. We had a lot of fun that first summer, and I'd venture to say it's still one of my favorites. The Breakfast Club, Cici's pizza, swimming at Drew's, I spent most of my first driving summer down in Cedar Hill at your house, or up in Kessler with you.

Even thinking about it now, I can't believe we were only such good friends for a year and a half before I went to Nebraska. It felt like so much longer. You went from the girl two years younger than me who played volleyball, to one of my closest friends.

You've been a best friend to me, and at the same time, you've also played the roles of a big sister, and a little sister. You've helped me with so many things, and always know what I'm thinking. You were the first person I told when I got into Creighton, and the last person I saw before I left. You've been with me for every birthday (or celebration of my birthday) since senior year, and I don't think we should stop that tradition this year. ;)

You have such a good head on your shoulders, and I'm so excited to come visit you at Tech this year! I'm really looking forward to all of your stories from college, but I'm definitely going to miss seeing you every single break! I hope you love school, but I also hope that you miss me and come back a lot. :)

We've shared a lot over the past years, such as a prom date, and my prom/your homecoming court dress, and now, you're going to share all the juicy details of your freshman year! I love you, and I miss you SO much already!

Love, Mb

DAY 14: SOMEONE YOU'VE DRIFTED AWAY FROM

Okay, this is creepy-good timing because he graduated from basic training today! CONGRATULATIONS MICHAEL!

Michael Dean

From the time that I came up to you and asked you if I could touch your hair, to the day I texted you good luck in training we've had a weird relationship.

Even through all that, though, we were always friends. We've had some crazy times, like when I almost killed you and Sarah when I went vertical on the 4-wheeler or when Sarah and I had our friend Harley come up to you before you knew who she was and had her ask if she could take your picture. It's weird to think that a few years ago we were doing things like that, and now you're off fighting for our country. I know you're doing awesome,

and I know that the USA is lucky to have someone like you wanting to fight for us.

I still have all of our notes from freshman year in a box. My GOD we talked a lot. Thanks for always making sure to put your friends before you. You were always the one who had a good head on his shoulders when I wanted to do something I shouldn't. (Literally.. there's a note that says "Marybeth. DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID!") I think you know what letter I'm referring to... or at least the time period. You always had my best interest at heart, and now you're doing that for the whole country.

I know you're doing great, and I hope you know that everyone here at home is so proud of you for what you're doing. MISS YOU SO MUCH.

Love, Mb

DAY 13: SOMEONE YOU WISH COULD FORGIVE YOU

Whew. This one's a doozy. I think, though, that after this one, the rest should be way lighter. If you're looking for a simple, easy letter, today is NOT the day to look at. This letter is long overdue. The first thing that many people asked me when they read my day 10 blog was "where's Megan's letter?" Well, here it is.

Megan Mullin

Megan, I don't even know where to start. Its kinda funny, since when we hung out, I don't think we ever shut up. We were together all day every day. Sometimes I wonder how we survived on such little sleep. You were so great. You didn't just show me your world, you shared it with me. You shared everyone and everything with me. You were more than just my best friend; you were my other half.

I decided that I needed to write you this letter, because this was the letter that meant the most to me. I know I've hurt a lot of people in the past few years, and I'm definitely not proud of who I've been the last year or so, but of all of the friendships that have been torn or strained, yours meant the most to me. You meant the most to me. You were so great to me, and you never judged me. You were my first real lasting friendship at Creighton, and I ruined that. I know it was totally me. And all I can say is that I'm sorry.

As far as friends go, you were pretty much the best. When I had a problem, no matter how big or small, you were there. When I had family problems, when I had school problems, you listened, and you always knew what I should do. When I didn't go home for Thanksgiving break, you extended your house and your family to me for the whole break. When I got dumped during that break, you drove back from a party immediately to be there for me. (You even took the speed bumps kinda fast :)) I spent more nights in your room on your futon (thank GOD it was comfortable!) than in my own room, and when my room was busy with tours all day, you let me take over your room. You were also the one who found my mountain dew covered laptop, and drove me to the apple store to see if it could be fixed. If I could go back to any time at Creighton, there is no doubt in my mind that I would go back to first semester.

I know that everything that happened between us was my fault. I know that I don't deserve you to ever forgive me. I'm asking anyways because I really miss you. I miss everything about how fun life was back then. I now know what my problem was, and I'm really sorry about everything. I was jealous of you and Katie moving on, and making new friends. I couldn't wrap my head around that we could still be friends, even though we were doing different things. I took way too drastic of measures, and I wish I could take it back.

I still don't know why I thought I had to cut you guys out of my life completely. I hate that I did. I would change it if I could, but I can't. I'm sorry about everything, and I hope that we can someday get past the last year and a half and move forward.

Megan, there's still so much more I need to say, and I know that this isn't nearly enough. I know that I hurt you more than anyone else, and I'm so sorry. I wish that a simple letter of apology could change everything, but I know that that's not possible. All I know how to say is that I'm sorry, and I miss you.

Love, Mb

DAY 12: THE PERSON YOU HATE MOST/CAUSED YOU A LOT OF PAIN

This is the letter I was least looking forward to writing. Even though I haven't talked to him in years, I didn't want to cause bad blood between anyone. Therefore, no names.

Homeboy,

Ya know, when I look back on how I live my life, I blame you for a lot. I've lost a lot of friends in the past 7 years, and I credit that to what you did to me. You made me question myself, when you should have been forgiving. You took something that could have been a long and lasting friendship, and turned us against each other. I can't let people get too close now, thanks to you. Without meaning to, I push people away. I can tell you why. Its because of you. I'm afraid of what you did to me happening again. I'm afraid of you taking my whole world, shaking it up, and putting me down, lost and alone, like you did so many years ago. I trusted you, I believed in you, and all you did was use that against me.

For the longest time, you would ask me "We cool?" or "Hey, what's your deal. You mad at me?" and I would always respond that yeah, we were cool, or no, I wasn't mad at you. We weren't cool. We aren't cool, and if I saw you today, we would never be "cool." I've never fully addressed the feelings I have for you, I've always kind of shoved you aside. I was so innocent, I never thought that you would do what you did to me. I've learned since you; I've hardened. I back away from any type of commitment, friendship or more, and most people fade away.

I don't blame anyone else for this. I held what you did against someone else for way too long. I had already lost her friendship, thanks to you. I realized too late that it wasn't her, it was you. I lost many years with a great person because of what you did. You were the one who told me things, you were the one who broke me, and then left. Thanks for taking an innocent, young, happy girl, and turning her into what she is today. I'll never forgive you.

Mb

DAY 11: A DECEASED PERSON YOU WISH YOU COULD TALK TO

Grandpa Joe

I never got to meet you, but from what I've heard, you were a pretty great guy. Grandma still talks about how you were such an avid Notre Dame fan, and I could tell from the signs and posters all over y'alls old house. You seemed to be quite the jokester, as per the story of Michael getting to sit at the "adult table," and you telling him that the newest member always had to say this prayer the first time they sit there, "Pass the potatoes and pass the meat, and then, by golly, LET'S EAT!" I would have loved to have been there to see the looks on Molly's and Michael's faces.

I know that my mom sees a lot of you in me, and I hope that I can live up to that. I miss you, grandpa, and I can't wait to see you one day!

Love you, Mb

DAY 10: SOMEONE YOU DON'T TALK TO AS MUCH AS YOU'D LIKE TO PART II

Whew. Those last four were hard enough, but these next three are going to be even tougher. When I started this challenge, there were a few letters I was looking forward to writing, a few that I thought would be interesting, but this one I knew was going to be one of the ones that I knew who I wish I talked to more, but didn't know how to say what I needed to. I still don't know exactly what to say, but I'm going to try my best.

Liz Garcia

Liz, you were such a good friend to me. You were someone who would drive up to school to pick me up so that we could hang out, and you never had a problem with me. You and Alexis were so great to me, adding me to your group and really helping me to feel like I belonged. I was still unsure about Creighton, but you took me under your wing and helped me establish my place. You were always so positive about yourself, and I always admired you for that. You're such a strong person, and always so fun to be around. There was never a dull moment when you were around, and I miss that so much.

First semester was so great. I was so proud to be your friend. You are hilarious and nice and no matter whether we were just going to a party, house sitting (slash cat sitting), going to the zoo with Ian and Joel, or out to dinner, I could always count on a great time if you were going. You went from being my suitemate's best friend, to someone I could talk to, to my friend.

The next thing I need to say is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for breaking apart from you, and I'm sorry about how second semester turned out. I know we aren't mad at each other, but I also know that we didn't see each other once all semester, which was a lot different than the semester before. I missed hanging out with you two more than I let on, and I really wish I hadn't been so stubborn about things. I really hope that we can put everything that happened behind us and start over this year. (Yes, for the 3rd time basically haha!) I miss you, and I miss Rice Bowl, and when I come back to Omaha in 2 weeks, we are going to hang out!

Love, Mb

Alexis Altrichter

Lex, you were so great to me. I came in to live with you, Lauren, and Lexei, and even though you three knew each other, you accepted me as your friend. You included me in everything and didn't overlook me. First semester was so great.. the things I remember most were just the simple things.. us watching FRIENDS or something while you played games on my iPod, or when you would write your papers and I would do other homework. We were able to hang out without doing the same thing all the time, and I loved that. You listened to me, and you were never afraid to speak your mind. I was actually afraid of you when I came to Creighton for that, and then found it as one of your greatest qualities! Your bold nature makes you something to be feared, but also, something that can prove to be very helpful to your friends.

You're so protective of your friends, and I have to thank you so many times for that. When we were figuring out the Colorado trip, you stood up for me when people yelled at me, and you always had my back in sticky situations. You were never afraid to tell someone what you thought, and your honesty was always something I admired in you.

I hate what happened to us. I hate that I was so stubborn and couldn't talk to you, and I hate that everything blew up. I never thought our fight would escalate to what it did, and I missed you so much second semester. I know we started to get better as the year went on, but we never acknowledged what had happened, and so this is what I want to say about that.

Alexis, I'm sorry. I should have handled the situation completely differently, and I hope that we can get past this. Every day second semester I wanted to be able to just walk into your room and tell you that, but I could never work up the courage. I never deleted your name from my iPod because I always thought that maybe tomorrow we could watch tv and you could play, just like old times. I miss our talks, and I miss how you just understood what I was feeling.

I hope that when I get back to Omaha, we can be friends. I hope that we can go out to lunch or something, and just talk. You made Creighton fun for me. I was not too happy with everything, and you told me to "get over it and do something about it." You were the one who told me that I should go through recruitment, but you weren't the one I was able to talk to about how it was going. I'm sorry I couldn't get over myself, and I hope that we can start over and do things differently. I miss you!

Love, Mb

Katie Scannell

Katie, I don't even know where to begin. If I had to pick a favorite semester at Creighton, there is no doubt in my mind that it would be first semester of freshman year. We had such a fun time together, and there are way too many memories to name. One of my favorites would have to be the night of the homecoming dance, the first time that I really hung out with you. We had such fun, the food was good, and thats where we met Sebastian the waiter! Every day was so great, from dancing to Nobody's Perfect, to halloween, to our flag football team, we always seemed to have a blast. I still look back at pictures, and when I think about how fun Creighton can be, the memories always have you in them.

I'm not even too sure where we started to stop hanging out. I know it was second semester, but I can't really put an exact time or event with it. Our schedules went from exactly the same (I still don't know just how that worked out) to completely opposite, and I never saw you anymore. I'm really sorry for everything that happened between us, and I hope that we can get past this and hang out this semester.

You were so helpful when I was looking into changing my major to Education, and I never got to thank you so much for that! You're such a good person, and a great friend. I miss you!

Love, Mb